Catch-up post

It's raining in Indianapolis today, and most of my time has been spent in this coffee shop. We have our last two shows in the next two days, and then, early Monday morning, the group disperses and Diogo and I head to Minneapolis.

I'm thrilled to be coming home. This summer has only served to reinforce my view that Minneapolis is one of the best cities around. There is something *very* bittersweet, however, about the ending of this summer. This project and these people have been such a delight... there will definitely be some withdrawal symptoms this fall, I think, as it sinks in that this phase of this project is finished.

And then there's the fact that Diogo's visa expires a week from tomorrow. I've only recently realised how soon it is that he's leaving, and feel a little panicked about the fact. We've talked about the future a lot this summer, but I feel somehow that I'm no closer to a decision than I was before, and he's of the mind and heart that he's always (since Jan) been: he wants to get married. I have so many questions about that commitment still: what it means, if I want it, if I want it for the right reasons. Conversations with Janna and others have calmed me, made me feel grounded, but it's rarely a lasting sensation. Another reason spending time in Minneapolis with Diogo will be good: it will give me another mirror, another way to see us together, myself with him.

(Sidenote: the entire cast spent some time at at Erin's brother's in-laws lake house this week, and one night we all stayed up til 3am while Meredyth did hand readings for all of us. My two lesser life lessons, according to my fingerprints, palms, etc are "emotional authenticity" and "getting out of my head" - both personal challenges that I'm familiar with, and which come into sharp focus, I've found, in an intimate relationship. My over-riding lesson, also relevant and familiar, is that I am enough. Insert Mary Oliver poem here.)

Yes, it's been an interesting, intense summer. L.A. is not my city, I've discovered (or I knew all along), but I'm standing by my decision to move there for this company. There was a period of time (over these last couple of weeks, in fact) where it looked like I might move out as soon as mid-Sept: one of my temp jobs threw me in the path of a very wealthy independent entrepreneur who was looking for an assistant/office manager, and after meeting for coffee he assured me his attorney would be in touch to work out details of my employment. He didn't, however, so it looks like no 40K salary with benefits for me. Ah, well.

I have to admit that I was shocked, though, and how thrilled people seemed to be with me as a temp. I kept being re-requested, and on one gig I was asked for my resume on the second day... is it really that hard to find someone who will show up on time and answer phones semi-proficiently in Los Angeles?! Apparently so.... It gives me hope that I may be able to find steady work fairly quickly upon my return.

Another insane thing about L.A. is the celebrities and the level of wealth. Obvious, I know. But having met a couple of b/millionaires within a couple of weeks, and then having Famke Janssen wander into the firm I was temping with on my first day there, and sharing an elevator with Calista Flockhart at a Target, I was (and am) having difficulty reconciling the reality with the surreality of it all. As I asked my friend Lauren: "Do you ever get used to celebrities wandering around like so many exotic animals in an everyday zoo?" Her reply: "No."

And so it should come as no surprise to me, really, that I breathe easier in Seattle, in the Midwest. And after a summer of sleeping on borrowed beds and fold-out couches, it will feel particularly sweet to be home.

Someone in Indy loves us...

Evidence here.

Review from L.A.

An awful lot has happened since my last post six weeks ago; as ever, apologies for not updating accordingly. Even now, as it's 1am and I'm exhausted after day three/performance three at the Indianapolis Fringe, I won't be filling in the blanks. (That's for tomorrow.) But in the meantime, here is a review from one of our shows in L.A. I'm so freaking proud of this piece, and I wish we could share it with everyone.

I Heart Whales

This is the most incredible article.

The slippery hours

Unstructured time has a way of slipping away from you. All of a sudden, I've been here for six weeks and have precious little to show for it, really. (I'm speaking on a personal level, here: as far as the show is concerned, I think we have a lot to show for our work.) Other than rehearsal, I have very little (nothing?) going on, and with dwindling funds has come a reluctance to leave the house. The past several weeks, it seems, have just sidled on past, more empty than full, with too much oversleeping, a decent amount of reading, and a ridiculous number of computer-based Monopoly and Risk games.

The work situation (or lack thereof) has been pretty frustrating... I did end up being offered that job at TJoe's but had to turn it down because the store wasn't even opening until the end of July. Similarly, I had an interview scheduled for an independent coffee shop, but then discovered the travel time was upwards of an hour, and they needed someone who could be there at 6am (and in a house where most of the inhabitants, yourself included, are rarely in bed before 2am, that could quickly become a problem). I've registered with two branches of the same temp agency over the last two weeks, but it wasn't til this morning that I actually got a gig. And thank goodness! It's only a one-off, and who knows how often these will come up, but even just to have ONE day of work under my belt feels like such a relief. How nice to feel like a productive member of society once more!

As for the show, it feels increasingly as though we're hitting our stride as an ensemble. It's still disconcerting from time to time what a different piece this is from what we started with, but I'm fascinated and enthralled by what it's becoming. Still don't know what it will look like at the end of the day, and still feel that this will be a further draft of a larger potential instead of a completely realised and finished product, but I'm very happy with the process and the results thus far.

So much so that I'm considering moving to L.A. properly in early 2010, so I can be a full-fledged member of this company.

Learning LA

Today has been a beautiful day. Sleeping in, toad-in-the-hole breakfast for three, wandering around downtown (the Jewelry District, the considerably more seedy Toy District, independent bookstores, apricot ale on the sidewalk, thuglife photography), iPod sharing and seat-dancing on the bus, kitchen-cleaning and dinner-making, and then a late showing of Up, which made me cry approximately four times. What a beautiful film. Now I'm home, full of popcorn, and sleepy.

Tomorrow I'll start applying for jobs in earnest. I've been making a half-hearted effort up until this point, but most of the leads Erin and others have proffered haven't panned out, so it looks like I'll have to get my butt in gear. I had a disheartening experience applying for a position at a Trader Joe's the other day - a job I can't help but feel I'm over-qualified for - but I suppose a piece of humble pie is far from the worst meal I've eaten. As long as I don't get too discouraged. As long as I keep trying.

I still don't feel as though I have much of a handle on LA. I'm beginning to understand more and more why people say you *have* to have a car to live here... it's just so sprawling! So huge. It will seem smaller, I suppose, once I have a better sense of the pieces of it and how they fit together, but I'm not even sure how to achieve *that* step, how to understand the pieces. Ah well. Baby steps. Like taking the bus to downtown and wandering through the Toy District, for example.

Vegas was fun, by the way, but exhausting. I felt the need to hibernate once we got back, and essentially didn't interact with the world for a couple of days upon our return. It merits its own entry, and I'll try to get to that soon.

Other than that... rehearsal has been awesome. I'm so excited about this piece and this company. "June gloom" seems to have finally dissipated, and we're getting some proper sunshine, and I am getting some proper colour. Venice beach is awesome. The Santa Monica Farmer's Market is incredible. Every Friday Erin takes us on hikes (Runyon Canyon the first week, Solstice Canyon in Malibu the second) and they're lovely. Mango with sticky rice is heaven in my tummy. Mandy Patinkin and Patti LuPone kicked ass in their show at the Ahmanson last night. I'm in love with purple jacaranda trees...

At moments I get a little homesick. But for now, that's ok. I'm learning LA and my place in it a little at a time. Today was a beautiful day, and tomorrow will be another.

Viva Las Vegas!

In another fantasically unexpected turn of events, Diogo and I are going to Vegas. Like, right now. I'll explain:

A couple of weeks ago, I had the good fortune of attending the lovely wedding of Christina and Emanuel, and the even better fortune of being sat at a table with a delightful young woman... we'll call her Dot. (I do.) Dot is from Las Vegas, and over the course of the reception and aided by the presence of an open bar, we became fast friends. "You'll have to call me when you're in L.A.!" she said. "I go down there all the time!"

Turns out she wasn't kidding. This past Thursday she was here to see a concert, and met up with D and I beforehand for dinner and drinks... over which she discovered that neither of us had ever been to Vegas. Shocking! And a situation she planned to rectify.

Which is how we find ourselves today packed and ready and waiting to be picked up by Dot, who is driving FROM LAS VEGAS, PICKING US UP IN L.A., and taking us BACK TO VEGAS. A drive that she'll do again on Thursday, when she brings us home. We asked her about twenty times if she was completely absolutely positively sure that she wanted to do this... but she's insisting, and so we're going. I mean, really, twist our arms.

Vegas, here we come!