You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

-Mary Oliver

Thursday 25 June 2009

Learning LA

Today has been a beautiful day. Sleeping in, toad-in-the-hole breakfast for three, wandering around downtown (the Jewelry District, the considerably more seedy Toy District, independent bookstores, apricot ale on the sidewalk, thuglife photography), iPod sharing and seat-dancing on the bus, kitchen-cleaning and dinner-making, and then a late showing of Up, which made me cry approximately four times. What a beautiful film. Now I'm home, full of popcorn, and sleepy.

Tomorrow I'll start applying for jobs in earnest. I've been making a half-hearted effort up until this point, but most of the leads Erin and others have proffered haven't panned out, so it looks like I'll have to get my butt in gear. I had a disheartening experience applying for a position at a Trader Joe's the other day - a job I can't help but feel I'm over-qualified for - but I suppose a piece of humble pie is far from the worst meal I've eaten. As long as I don't get too discouraged. As long as I keep trying.

I still don't feel as though I have much of a handle on LA. I'm beginning to understand more and more why people say you *have* to have a car to live here... it's just so sprawling! So huge. It will seem smaller, I suppose, once I have a better sense of the pieces of it and how they fit together, but I'm not even sure how to achieve *that* step, how to understand the pieces. Ah well. Baby steps. Like taking the bus to downtown and wandering through the Toy District, for example.

Vegas was fun, by the way, but exhausting. I felt the need to hibernate once we got back, and essentially didn't interact with the world for a couple of days upon our return. It merits its own entry, and I'll try to get to that soon.

Other than that... rehearsal has been awesome. I'm so excited about this piece and this company. "June gloom" seems to have finally dissipated, and we're getting some proper sunshine, and I am getting some proper colour. Venice beach is awesome. The Santa Monica Farmer's Market is incredible. Every Friday Erin takes us on hikes (Runyon Canyon the first week, Solstice Canyon in Malibu the second) and they're lovely. Mango with sticky rice is heaven in my tummy. Mandy Patinkin and Patti LuPone kicked ass in their show at the Ahmanson last night. I'm in love with purple jacaranda trees...

At moments I get a little homesick. But for now, that's ok. I'm learning LA and my place in it a little at a time. Today was a beautiful day, and tomorrow will be another.

Monday 15 June 2009

Viva Las Vegas!

In another fantasically unexpected turn of events, Diogo and I are going to Vegas. Like, right now. I'll explain:

A couple of weeks ago, I had the good fortune of attending the lovely wedding of Christina and Emanuel, and the even better fortune of being sat at a table with a delightful young woman... we'll call her Dot. (I do.) Dot is from Las Vegas, and over the course of the reception and aided by the presence of an open bar, we became fast friends. "You'll have to call me when you're in L.A.!" she said. "I go down there all the time!"

Turns out she wasn't kidding. This past Thursday she was here to see a concert, and met up with D and I beforehand for dinner and drinks... over which she discovered that neither of us had ever been to Vegas. Shocking! And a situation she planned to rectify.

Which is how we find ourselves today packed and ready and waiting to be picked up by Dot, who is driving FROM LAS VEGAS, PICKING US UP IN L.A., and taking us BACK TO VEGAS. A drive that she'll do again on Thursday, when she brings us home. We asked her about twenty times if she was completely absolutely positively sure that she wanted to do this... but she's insisting, and so we're going. I mean, really, twist our arms.

Vegas, here we come!

Wednesday 10 June 2009

New Adventures

Months after my last post, the landscape has (literally) changed, and I find myself in Los Angeles. This summer promises to be quite the adventure - I'm staying here with Diogo in Erin and Jones' living room, starting rehearsal on Friday for the new, improved, and extended version of Crossing the Bridge (Erin's final project at LISPA), which will also be the flagship production of Leonix Theatre Ensemble.

It's funny, in a way; L.A. is the last place I ever imagined myself. But these people are so compelling, this project so inspiring, that there was no hesitation in my decision to come out here for the summer. There are still a lot of unknowns - what will happen in the fall, for example, and if and how I'll be able to find work whilst here, and whether we'll all work together as well as we imagine - but that's what makes it an adventure, no?

To be honest, it felt a bit bittersweet to come out here at this precise moment, because for the first time in a long time I was really, really enjoying being in Minneapolis. So much so, in fact, that I really didn't feel any need or desire to leave. For so many years - high school onwards, really - when it came to Minneapolis I'd always had one foot out the door, one eye on the horizon, and so these last months in the Twin Cities, when I realised how content I was just to *be* there, were particularly sweet. And they were sweet months... beginning aerial classes, performing in Seven Jewish Children and the Ten Minute Festival at Bedlam, rediscovering the landscape of the metropolis by bike, happy hours and specials at Luce and Tracy's, the incorrigible bloom of the Cities in spring, a new appreciation for the community and my work at Dunns, QT in abundance with Mom and Finn, ANTM with Gemma, jigsaw puzzles with Sarah H, Smersh HQ meetings, MY FIVE YEAR COLLEGE REUNION (!), finding my connections within the Minneapolis artistic community, midnight photo shoots in Matthews park... the list goes on.

Perhaps as a result of the glow from these last few months, I'm operating more or less under the assumption that I'll be back in the Twin Cities for the fall (also as a result of being so happy in Mpls this spring, I decided *not* to apply to that MA programme in London. Yet.) But as we all know, these things can change in a matter of moments. My heart may lead me elsewhere - Portugal, London, some new and undisclosed location - or anchor me here, with the burgeoning and compelling work of this newly founded company, these beautiful and intelligent people. As much as I can, I'm trying not to worry, trying to remain open to all the possibilities within and without me.

Nevertheless, this summer feels Big. Important. Like the potential beginnings of some very big experiences and choices, both personally and professionally. And I can't help but wonder what the future will bring...