You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

-Mary Oliver

Wednesday 10 June 2009

New Adventures

Months after my last post, the landscape has (literally) changed, and I find myself in Los Angeles. This summer promises to be quite the adventure - I'm staying here with Diogo in Erin and Jones' living room, starting rehearsal on Friday for the new, improved, and extended version of Crossing the Bridge (Erin's final project at LISPA), which will also be the flagship production of Leonix Theatre Ensemble.

It's funny, in a way; L.A. is the last place I ever imagined myself. But these people are so compelling, this project so inspiring, that there was no hesitation in my decision to come out here for the summer. There are still a lot of unknowns - what will happen in the fall, for example, and if and how I'll be able to find work whilst here, and whether we'll all work together as well as we imagine - but that's what makes it an adventure, no?

To be honest, it felt a bit bittersweet to come out here at this precise moment, because for the first time in a long time I was really, really enjoying being in Minneapolis. So much so, in fact, that I really didn't feel any need or desire to leave. For so many years - high school onwards, really - when it came to Minneapolis I'd always had one foot out the door, one eye on the horizon, and so these last months in the Twin Cities, when I realised how content I was just to *be* there, were particularly sweet. And they were sweet months... beginning aerial classes, performing in Seven Jewish Children and the Ten Minute Festival at Bedlam, rediscovering the landscape of the metropolis by bike, happy hours and specials at Luce and Tracy's, the incorrigible bloom of the Cities in spring, a new appreciation for the community and my work at Dunns, QT in abundance with Mom and Finn, ANTM with Gemma, jigsaw puzzles with Sarah H, Smersh HQ meetings, MY FIVE YEAR COLLEGE REUNION (!), finding my connections within the Minneapolis artistic community, midnight photo shoots in Matthews park... the list goes on.

Perhaps as a result of the glow from these last few months, I'm operating more or less under the assumption that I'll be back in the Twin Cities for the fall (also as a result of being so happy in Mpls this spring, I decided *not* to apply to that MA programme in London. Yet.) But as we all know, these things can change in a matter of moments. My heart may lead me elsewhere - Portugal, London, some new and undisclosed location - or anchor me here, with the burgeoning and compelling work of this newly founded company, these beautiful and intelligent people. As much as I can, I'm trying not to worry, trying to remain open to all the possibilities within and without me.

Nevertheless, this summer feels Big. Important. Like the potential beginnings of some very big experiences and choices, both personally and professionally. And I can't help but wonder what the future will bring...

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