Isa-bunny ain't so funny

I feel like a rabbit. A grumpy rabbit. It was completely my own decision to do this gall-bladder detox thing again, and I know I'll feel amazing afterwards, and even not that bad once I start properly fasting, but this part at the beginning when I'm only allowed to eat raw food in preparation for the fast is no fun.

So far today I have eaten: half a bag of baby carrots, two oranges, a 300g pack of blueberries, two baby cucumbers, a pear, and nearly all of a 300g bag of pistachios. What I really want is a hamburger and cheesecake.

Salt in the wound is the fact that there IS cheesecake in my house, but I'M NOT ALLOWED TO EAT IT! Not only that, but it's homemade ginger cheesecake!!!, brought into being by my dear housemate and all-around goddess Carrie. There is no way that I would be able to describe the yumminess in mere words, so I'm not even going to try. I ate about a third of this Incredible concoction the first evening it was made, amongst much sighing and little shivers of joy, and let's just say that I now worship at the Church of Cheesecake.

So why!? Why have I decided to go on this fast NOW?

Phooey.

(she sighs resignedly and reaches for another carrot stick)

At least I have moral support. Rebecca is doing it with me this time around (I think last time I was on my own), and to be honest were it not for her I'd probably talk myself into doing it Not Now... like, say, in a month or so. And it will be nice to have someone to sit in a corner and drink juice with while everyone else is eating real food. And to self-congratulate with when we make it through, and feel Awesome.

But enough of that. Have I mentioned how amazing it is to be living in a house full of friends? I love coming home from work to people in the kitchen, people in the living room, people in the yard. I love that the entire evening consists of cooking and eating and getting stuck talking around the beautiful black hole of the kitchen table. I think (knock on wood) this may be the summer that I learn to cook. I've been watching other people cook very carefully, and sooner or later I may feel empowered enough to take the plunge myself! (You know, when I can eat again.) I've already decided that I'm going to steal that ginger cheesecake recipe so I can try to make it for folks at home over Christmas. How awesome does that sound, folks at home?! Yeah, that's what I thought.

We also have a piano at this house. Get this - it's a piano they found on the street, for free. (I love London.) As you might expect, it's horrifically out of tune, but who cares!? It's a free piano! I've also discovered that the Kensington Library checks out piano scores, so I've been spending about an hour every couple of days or so pounding out melancholy nocturnes made even more melancholic by the ridiculous out-of-tuneness of the instrument. I try to do it when I'm the only one in the house - the only way I can suffer through them is because I know what they're supposed to sound like.

Also, we have foxes living in our back yard.

Let's see, what else? I'm really happy these days. Raw-food-inspired bitch sessions and angsty spells over long-lost friends aside, I'm actually doing really well. I'm loving biking places. I'm loving my living situation. I'm more well-rested than I've been in probably a year. I'm happy to be where I am. For the first time in years, actually, I'm not making plans to be somewhere I'm not. I really am happy here in this moment. And this, indeed, is something to be happy about.