You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

-Mary Oliver

Friday, 19 September 2008

Yesterday was Dramatic, Today is Ok

As the sun has emerged, so has it chased (at least to the fringes) the stress that has plagued me of late. I'm not out of the woods yet. I doubt I will be until I get out of London (and Portugal will bring its own set of adventures, stresses, and joys). But today I actually (gasp!) enjoyed work, and having made lists upon lists of things to accomplish in the next few days, everything's beginning to look a little bit more managable. Still crazy-busy, but managable.

The work day (one of my last) is drawing to a close now, and I'm trying to rally my remaining energy for drinks with co-workers. I was informed last week that it would be expected that I would arrange myself a "leaving do" so everyone could have an excuse to go have a pint or four in my company, and at first I was *very* reluctant. My initial reaction: "Do I have to?"

Wait, what?

Who is this girl, and what has she done with your friend? When have I ever, EVER, done anything short of leaping at the chance to be celebrated and made a fuss over?

If none of the previous entries have driven home just how stressed, distracted, and generally a mess I've been over the past couple of weeks, that last tidbit should do it. I practically had to have my arm twisted in order to set a time and venue - the big to-do starts in T-minus twelve minutes.

And of course now that it's all set up, I'm suddenly worried that noone is going to come and I'm going to feel like a big fat loser. But don't worry - it's just the stress talking.

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